I think my vagina is haunted
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
