I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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