Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
