Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
