he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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