I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
