that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
