I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
