I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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