He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
