i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
