Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
