Is it because I queefed?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
