That's intense
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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