Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
