hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Alive.
So much puke
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
