I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
