It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The uberlube is also flammable
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
