We won't sleep together?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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