Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
