the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
