Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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