is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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