dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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