He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants are for mortals
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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