Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
