Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
