You surviving the open bar?
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if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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