weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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