It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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