just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
