its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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