I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
