She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
