community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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