: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
