While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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