But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
