it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
