As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
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All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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