is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
