There is no way he is gay with that hair.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander