I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.