There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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