I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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