Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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