dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
