omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
