im drinking this country out of the recession.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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