Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
