its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
