she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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