What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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