i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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