Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
