i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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