This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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