Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
