Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
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I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
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I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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