i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
