I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
