what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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