I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
